AC-XII, Summer 2005
(August 21-23)
WHAT in the WORLD Happened?!?!
Pathetic Personal Performances Predominate!
Goofy golfing, boorish bowling, terrible tennis, and horrific hoops.
This year had all the earmarks of a wide-open Cup. Then the guys arrived. You couldn't blame the weather, which was perfect. The Seven Springs course was in good shape and not particularly difficult. The tennis courts were among the best ever. While the basketball court was nonstandard, it was no worse than some others over the years. The bowling conditions, however, were another story.
DAY 1, Sunday. Some early threatening skies gave way to a beautiful Sunday. The guys opted to play four rounds of golf this year and planned to play twice on Sunday and Monday, with the first two rounds counting toward total net score only. They checked in at the main lodge, meandered over to the pro shop, hit a few practice balls, and headed out to the teebox. That's when the trouble started. During the course of the four rounds, not one player achieved par against their handicap. In fact, the best individual score was +2, the worst a whopping +26! By the end of day 1, Derek held a 6 stroke net lead over Tom, despite being a whopping +17! After cleaning up and enjoying a nice repast at the main lodge, they headed to the recreation area and located the "bowling lanes," and I use that phrase very loosely. If you've sneaked a look at the scores, you know what I mean. There were exactly six lanes, which hadn't felt lane oil in -- perhaps years. When the first few hooks were thrown, the balls quickly veered into the gutter, crossing the entire lane. The guys did their best to improvise their games, but their net bowling scores were as pathetic as their golf scores. Tom and Paul were best at adjusting their games, and came away with the lion's share of points, with Tom nipping Paul's handicap score by 10 pins. After some Texas Hold 'em and picking of this year's college football team pools, they called it a day.
Standings at the end of day 1: Tom 8, Paul 7, Kevin 2, Derek 1.
DAY 2, Monday. Wow - what a great breakfast buffet they had at the main lodge! This was a point laden day with both stroke and match golf play, as well as the award of the low net points. The guys again hacked away at the course, with Derek logging a +2 to take the big stroke-play points. With five carts of senior citizens getting ready to tee off, they quickly headed back out for match play. Derek built up a surprising lead in the front nine and held off Tom to secure more unexpected points. They headed back to the lodge, quickly tallied the point standings, then spent the rest of the evening at the smoky lodge pub, pondering what Tuesday morning would bring.
Standings at the end of day 2: Derek 21.92, Tom 19.42, Paul 10.92, Kevin 8.75.
DAY 3, Tuesday. After another great breakfast buffet (with some boasting about doughnut eating prowess) they moseyed down to the rather nice tennis courts and randomly paired. Derek and Tom, 1-2 in points, paired off while Paul and Kevin played. The matches varied significantly in length, making it difficult to foresee who held an edge. However, when Kevin was upset by Derek (playing more with his legs than his arms) in the second round, while Tom lost a big lead on Paul and dropped his match, an improbable Cup outcome began to look like a possibility. They finished up with tennis, checked out of the lodge, and drove to the nearby basketball court (portable backboards), which was really a multi-use, sloped concrete pad that was also home to shuffleboard and outdoor concert seating. There was nothing unusual about the first quarter, but then Derek's arm finally gave out and he quickly dropped to the back of the pack. Kevin was consistent throughout and took the hoops trophy comfortably, with Tom a solid second. The guys did a quick tally and confirmed Derek's surprising Cup win, then headed to Somerset for a leisurely meal at Ruby Tuesdays and some official Cup pics.
Final Standings: Derek 32.92, Tom 26.42, Kevin 22.75, Paul 17.92.
EPILOGUE. This was the battle of (pathetic) attrition Cup. As I (Chad) accurately predicted, Derek's performances sucked. What I didn't foresee was how much the REST of the guys would suck. Tom's steady golf game vanished, as did Kevin's tennis monopoly. Paul performed solidly under the "odd" bowling circumstances, but was unimpressive elsewhere.
Just one word for everyone before ACUP XIII - PRACTICE!
Au revoir.
2005 Individual Trophy winners:
Derek Derek Kevin Tom